Work

I have been avoiding blogging. Putting words down, having to say how I'm feeling. So I've been procrastinating the whole point at which I am in pregnancy.  I have been working on making stuff to sell at the farmers market this summer. It has been helpful at keeping my mind on fabric and sewing machines not  the what ifs.

2nd Trimester the point at which the last pregnancy tipped and it is constantly on my mind, now I'm almost 13 weeks, I feel disconnected with the whole pregnancy. Part of me is getting excited, packing way the non maternity stuff, thinking about baby things, diaper bags and tiny little socks, the other part is thinking I've been here, why would this time be different. 

With out a concrete reason why things failed last time there is no concrete thing to avoid. If I just don't do X then it will all be fine. But there is no X and no guarantee that things will work this time.
So I'm left sewing play food and hanging out with the girls for book club and reassuring everyone that I'm fine and things are good  but I am holding my breath.